Post-Sex Hacks You Don’t Want To Skip – Kenneth Play: HACK YOUR SEX LIFE

info@kennethplay.com

reach out

Post-Sex Hacks You Don’t Want To Skip

I’m loving this article on Vice I was quoted in about how the concept of aftercare applies to vanilla sex as much as it applies to kink scenes!

For those who might not know, aftercare is an essential practice for the kink community to help facilitate a “soft landing” after an intense sexual experience.

People have different needs sexually, and that extends into what people want from aftercare. I find that the easiest and most direct way is to ask straight out. I usually say something like, “what do you need and enjoy after sex?” It’s really important to me that I offer aftercare no matter what my relationship with the person is.

Outside of the kink community, people seem to ration out kindness to partners with whom they are not in a relationship, because they are afraid that they are going to catch feelings or send out a signal that they want a relationship. It doesn’t matter how casual sex is—aftercare is about being a kind human being. Being naked with another person is a vulnerable place to be. The last thing you want to do is make someone feel used or feel used yourself. It’s really unfair to say that you’re going to carry on seeing someone and then just ghost. Most people will respect your honest answer if you’ve already decided that you don’t intend to play with them again. I think you have to deliver that message with kindness and directness and with gratitude for the experience you’ve just shared with them.

Whether it’s with a new partner or your spouse, aftercare is really the perfect chance to talk about what you loved about the experience you just shared, what in particular turned you on, what you might tweak if or when you do it again. It’s also a good time to talk about boundaries that you may have only just realized as a result of the experience itself.

Related Posts

  • Hacienda featured on The Love Drive!

    My colleague and amazing friend Lila, of horizontal with Lila, recently was a guest on The Love Drive Show to talk about intentional communities, sex parties, and non-monogamy — and she gave a shout out to my work too! Sex parties and the sex positive community can be somewhat intimidating when you first decide to immerse yourself in it. But as Lila explains, a lot of it is about finding the place and the people that feel good and safe for you, and also learning to be intentional and open. Lila also talks about navigating nonmonogamy and sexual desires in

  • Grant Goes on a Mission to Enjoy Shower Sex

    Water pouring over skin, hot steam filling the room, massaging touch through soap and suds to find all the right buttons… There’s a lot of reasons why shower sex is my favorite, but the reason I like it most is that it becomes a full sensory experience. The sound and feel of the water, the temperature of the steam, the worship of washing one another’s bodies before and after… add in some candles or music and you’ve got the makings of a movie scene in your own bathroom. But not everyone is immediately as thrilled by shower adventures as I

  • The Scientific Secret of the Female Orgasm!

    My frequent collaborator Dr. Zhana has an amazing podcast that you may know, called The Science of Sex, and I recently re-listened to one of my favorite episodes from the very beginning about the female orgasm and clitoris. In this episode, Dr. Zhana and Joe Pardavila speak with Dr. James Pfaus about the “elusive” female orgasm, and why we consider it so mysterious! He published a study on this very topic in 2016, and shares all sorts of interesting facts. They also talk about the average size penis and couples who sleep in separate beds, so tune in to check that out!  

Get all the latest sex hacks, news, event invites, and sex science straight to your inbox by signing up for my Play Time newsletter!

CONTACT